Yet even as many Americans still profess their public dislike of homosexuals and their private behaviors, some signs indicate that opinions have shifted in favor of more tolerance. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses, and in 1994, the group went further, declaring, Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality.136 That same year, the association proposed making it unethical for psychiatrists to attempt to alter patients sexual orientations. And a decade later, the group endorsed gay marriage.137 Cornell University psychology professor Daryl Bem explains why his colleagues have changed their minds: If your notion of a gay man was someone lurking in the park looking for sexnow its your son. Its hard to regard [gays] as sinners or as second-class citizens, because we want our children to be happy.138

Other signs also point toward increased public tolerance. In survey results from the National Opinion Research Center from 197282, 70 percent of respondents described homosexual relations as always wrong, T H E G AYR I G H T S PA R A D O X

In 2006, the percentage who believed homosexual acts were always wrong fell to 54 percent, while the number who said such acts were not wrong at all more than doubled, to 31 percent.139 These attitudes have resulted in a stunning reversal of opinion. For example, during the height of the Dont ask, dont tell controversy, 47 percent of the public favored the idea, while 43 percent opposed it. By 2005, a stunning 76 percent favored allowing gays to serve in the military, and 79 percent favored allowing gays to serve openly.140 And thats not all. In a 2004 poll, 68 percent of those asked would not be bothered to learn that their childs schoolteacher was gay. When asked in 2007 whether school boards should have the right to re teachers because they were homosexual, 63 percent disagreed (including 39 percent who completely disagreed with the idea), while just 28 percent were in favor.141

One reason for the greater degree of tolerance is the increasing number of Americans who have close friends who are homosexual. In 1986, only 24 percent of those surveyed reported having such friends.142 Today, more than 8 in 10 respondents say they know someone who is gay, and 6 in 10 report having homosexual friends, colleagues, or family members.143 Brad Sears, director of the Williams Project on Sexual Orientation Law at the University of California at Los Angeles Law School, says, The act of coming out has probably been the single most important determinant in the change in public opinion polls. People learn that this isnt some kind of abstract, foreign, exotic creature. This is somebody who lives down the street.144