The problem is that the scenes featuring Elly and Aidan in the film's real world are just as generic and cartoonish as the ones featuring Agent Argyle in Elly's books. There is no contrast no witty disparity between the far-fetched daydreams she has of the spy game, and how it actually is. In both realities, the effects look fake, the plotting is ludicrous, and the characters are unbelievable (Elly is never bothered by all the people being killed around her), so the premise comes to seem pointless. If the film's fantasy is a cardboard copy of 007, and its reality is a cardboard copy of 007, why do we need both? The feeling that we're seeing a photocopy of a photocopy arises in part from Jason Fuchs' screenplay, which could have been written by anyone with a hazy memory of a Bond film. Everywhere you look, there are details that need to be added, plot holes that need to be filled, and jokes that need to be improved.

The villain, forgettably played by Bryan Cranston, appears to have almost infinite power and resources, but no one explains who he is or what he wants. He struts around a command centre that is either full of trusty employees, or empty of them, depending on what the plot requires. And the dialogue ranges from lazy "He makes Darth Vader look like Mary Poppins" to nonsensical. Take the film's slogan, "The greater the spy, the bigger the lie." I appreciate that it rhymes, but what is it supposed to mean? A R G Y L L E Director: Matthew Vaughn Cast: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Dua Lipa, Henry Cavill

Run time: 2hr 19m In its defence, at least Argylle is distinctively a Matthew Vaughn film. Several of his trademarks are in there, such as gimmicky, acrobatic fights accompanied by upbeat pop songs, and references to his supermodel wife, Claudia Schiffer: in one hotel room scene, her name is visible on the spines of the books. It's also apparent that Vaughn has serious influence in the music business. The second Kingsman film had a cameo from Elton John, but Argylle tops that by making prominent use of Now and Then, the Beatles song that came out in November, but which, in the world of the film, has been out for several years. It feels sacrilegious. Now and Then is probably the last new release that will ever be credited to the greatest pop group in history. Were the surviving Beatles really so short of cash that they felt compelled to license it to a dopey spy farce? Suddenly, the internet rumours that Taylor Swift wrote the film's spin-off novel don't seem quite so absurd.

The one Vaughn trademark that Argylle is lacking is the director's usual adolescent offensiveness. He's taken out all the sex, gore and swearing, which may be a sign of belated maturity, but which leaves Argylle seeming all too close to Ghosted, Shotgun Wedding, Freelance, Murder Mystery, and the other sort-of action, sort-of romance, sort-of comedy films which have been dumped on streaming services over the last couple of years. They're all vapid, anonymous blocks of content, but at least the others offer something vaguely glamorous to slump in front of in your living room when you can't settle on anything more nourishing to watch. Argylle, on the other hand, is being released in cinemas, so the shoddy and derivative nature of the enterprise is harder to forgive.