When you intentionally use Plan C, you are proactively deciding to drop a given expectation, either because youve decided it was unrealistic in the first place or because youve got bigger fish to fry. For example, one child was remarkably particular

His parents were quite determinedas evidenced by their relentless badgering and nagging (badgering and nagging, by the way, are halfhearted forms of Plan A)that he have a balanced diet but werent able to shove lima beans down their sons throat. This example of reciprocal inflexibility led to at least two explosions a day (at breakfast and dinner). Except in extreme cases, such as bona fide eating disorders, issues associated with diabetes, and so forth, a Plan C approach to food is probably indicated with these picky-eating explosive children. In other words, they wont starve. And, indeed, this child wasnt starving. Eating a variety of foods was handled with Plan C, explosions over this issue were eliminated, other more pressing issues were addressed, and the food trigger was eventually addressed without aid of Plan A. The child is now eating a somewhat wider variety of foods, and he actually go

Another child, Eduardo, routinely exploded whenever 94 his mother brought him to the supermarket. Eduardo exploded in other situations as well, of course, but none as predictably as the supermarket. Maybe it was the overstimulation, maybe it was the fact that he had very inflexible ideas about the foods he wanted his mother to buy (most of which were not at the top of his mothers list). Whatever the reason, no matter what the mother triedpreparing him in advance for trips, rewarding him for good behavior and punishing him for inappropriate behavior, making shorter trips, having Grandma accompany them, trying to steer him around the aisles where meltdowns seemed to occur most often, agreeing that he could select one or two of the foods on his listhe still routinely exploded when she brought him to the supermarket. The mother finally came to the conclusion that mastery of the demands of the supermarketstaying next to the s

She decided hed be much better off if she eliminated the expectation that her son accompany her to the supermarket (Plan C). Mother: But he cant avoid supermarkets forever, right? Therapist: Right. Luckily, going to the supermarket is not critical to Eduardos existence right now. 95 Mother: When should I try taking him into supermarkets again? Therapist: When youve resolved some of the more important triggers on your list, and when you think he can do it. Therapist: Its not always easy for my mother to watch him for me. Me: I know. But its even harderand a lot more detrimental to your relationship with your sonto have him exploding every time you take him to the supermarket. Business as usual is a fine idea, but only if you have a business as usual kid. You dont. What other triggers might warrant a Pla