Watch your step, pal. Please, PLEASE! Oh, come on, its not so late. (Badgering) No way. Not tonight. If you dont let me, Im running away! (Threat, badgering) This interaction may be aggravating, but in a way its good! Why? Because something constructive is happening. The child is fishing around, switching tactics and probing for your weak spot. But he cant find a weak spot. You are sticking to your guns. Not only that, but you are remaining fairly calm in spite of

There is one thing wrong with this example, however, and that has to do with how you handle testing and manipulation. You would not let the child switch tactics that many times (and you would also not talk so much). What should you do, then? Well, if you look at our list of six testing tactics, five of them (except butter up) are Stop behavior. As you know, Stop behavior should be counted. So if a child was pushing you this much, he should be counted. This is how the scene should be handled using the 1-2-3 program. Remember that the boy has already been given an explanation:

Why not? Come on, just this once! (Badgering) Thats 1. I never get anything. (Martyrdom, badgering) Thats 2. Ill clean the garage tomorrow. (Butter up, badgering) Thats 3. Take ten. The third count is more for the badgering than the butter up, but its obvious this kids not going to give up until the parent gently but firmly puts his foot down. That goal is achieved by counting and the resulting time-out. Remember: with the exceptions of butter up and passive pouting, testing and manipulation should be counted, especially in the beginning when youre just starting 1-2-3 Magic. Once the kids are used to the discipline system, the less aggressive, less obnoxious forms of testing canat your discretion occasionally be ignored. The effectiveness of not responding at all (verbally or nonverbally) to a childs testing can be evaluated by how quickly the child gives up the battle. Many kids soon learn that no response from you (ignoring) means

Which Testing Tactic Is the Most Common? Badgering, temper, threat, martyrdom, butter up, and physical tactics are all methods children use to get their way with adults. And all these tactics, except butter up, can also be used by kids to punish the uncooperative adults who obstinately persist in refusing to give the children what they want. We have taken several surveys of parents and teachers, asking which tactics they thought children used the most. Interestingly, both groups of grown-ups always mention the same three: badgering, temper, andthe overwhelming